Holland- Amsterdam & Volendam

Today we took a day trip to some small towns around Amsterdam, then spent a couple hours in Amsterdam. One thing was that it made me really appreciate The Hague-- it is my favorite of them so far, although I need to spend more time in Amster. Another thing was that today we rode a tram, a train, a boat, and a bus. Pretty awesome haha

Amsterdam train station

Just outside the Amsterdam train station

Alley in Amsterdam

Canal in Amsterdam

Cute car in Amsterdam

Various Dutch seafood fare

Clogs for sale to tourists :P

Shores of Volendam, a tiny town

Den Haag- Scheveningen & Sculptures

one of my fave things: everyone bikes! and its safe-- there is strict liability if you hit a biker

at Scheveningen, the beach area of Den Haag

Sculptures along the boardwalk of Scheveningen-- cute & morbid

what I assume is a play on the Dutch boy with his finger in the dam

In Den Haag

Den Haag, The Hague

Around my cute neighborhood

City center --> tram to the right is like the one I ride to work :)

Check out the old smart (or so I assume)! It's even funnier looking than now...

Such is my life...

I can't believe how quickly the time has passed. I have been slowly packing things up to take home, as I am moving out of my apt after finals... and it really hit me. I've been here for two years, but I hardly even feel like I've even set roots down. I'll be taking my fourth set of law school finals, and yet sometimes I have to remind myself that I am a law student.

Maybe reality just tends to sink in slower for me than for other people... and maybe that's because I tend to go through life at a brisk speed, because I'm afraid of what would happen if I slowed down. W thinks I take risks (because I like trying new restaurants and activities), but I actually find myself to be very risk adverse. I don't like the unknowns of life.

Anyway, soon summer will be here and I will have started my summer internship. Made me think about myself and how I should be perceived. I wrote a personal note about how I am jealous of my friends who are in the creative fields... they get to be themselves, and the more they put themselves out there, the better. They can post lots of pictures of themselves doing whatever fun they are doing on their blogs, sites, whatever. Not that I crave to be noticed, as I prefer anonymous recognition if any recognition at all (besides recognition at work! that's good), but I wish I could just be myself.

In the professional world, I feel like I can 'be myself' only so long as I still fit the standard. It's kind of embarrassing, but this whole train of thought all started with this blog. I seriously feel like once June rolls around, I should shut down this blog... just in case they find it. Not like I even write anything that ridiculous on here. I just feel like... the less "they" know about "me," the better.... the safer. Is that sad? I mean, I went from a very public journal to this pretty anonymous one and now am approaching... nothing. Oh well. There are cons to every pro, and I certainly can't complain about how things are going. I have been very fortunate.

In less emo news... Fortune smiled upon me last week, when I was summoned for jury duty but was never called in to the voir dire process :D I mean, sitting in that jury waiting room for several hours sucked, but almost worth that sense of 'hallelujah!' one gets when the voicespeaker comes on at 4 pm and tells us remaining lucky few that we are dismissed and our duty is done. You should have seen our beaming faces as we rode the elevator down. My thoughts about the jury process/system can be saved for another day.

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Picture of the Day

Planter near the Colburn School of Performing Arts, Los Angeles
I just found the little green things so calming and slightly unreal.

First Day of Spring

Yay! I love spring. You still remember when it used to get dark at 4:30 so you appreciate the longer days (unlike in the summer). It's not too cold and not too hot (the Goldilocks season?). The clothes are nicer. Birds are chirping and bees and buzzing and everyone in LAland is just so HAPPY!

Anyway. I got this report on myself in the mail today. It was a copy sent to me because my employer for this summer requested one for themselves. It's really interesting, they know more about me than I knew about myself. I saw an [unused] credit card account that I'd forgotten that I had. Which is funny because I don't keep that many accounts. Yeah... I feel like they listed everything except maybe my boyfriend history. hahah. That would be awesome. I look like such a baby on paper. Everything is so clean, and so short. I'm so proud of my clean short life.

I went to the Magic Castle yesterday with W and fam. I felt so bad for one of the performers because she was really nervous (like visibly shaking, voice straining) and was nervous for a reason-- she was the worst magician there. I heard people talking later that she had messed up badly earlier in the week and visitors had been calling in to get her out. Sad. Being a magician is not easy-- in a way, people are waiting to expose you, figure you out, see you mess up. Hate you or love you.

The rest of the performers in the small rooms were awesome though. Two of them were cool "mind reader" card trick types. I have no idea how they do it. I mean, they went out of their way to prove the cards weren't marked, didn't know the people (even W got picked), cards repeatedly shuffled by audience, etc. The last guy was the best because he stuck to basic coin & card type tricks, but it was incredible. We were in a tiny room, I was seated probably five feet away, to the side-- probably a magician's weakest spot (I saw a lot of magician's "tricks" at close angles before). But everything was flawless. He's nuts. I don't feel like I'm an easily impressed person, either, because I thought the magicians in the big room were very blah.

And now spring break has started.

A nice gateway into spring.

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Picture of the Post:

(above) Cow inventory in the German Alps

Obama's Speech on Race

Full Text: http://my.barackobama.com/page/content/hisownwords
Also see: http://www.latimes.com/news/politics/la-na-campaign19mar19,1,4641756.story

Speech given today in response to growing racial tensions stemming from Jeremiah Wright's and Geraldine Ferraro's comments.

I think it is a great speech. I really respect Obama for it. Sad but not surprising that it has come to this.

Although there are more important points in the speech, one point that stood out to me was:
"Obama said that "for as long as I live, I will never forget that in no other country on Earth is my story even possible." As for Wright, he said, "I can no more disown him than I can disown the black community. I can no more disown him than I can my white grandmother -- a woman who helped raise me, a woman who sacrificed again and again for me, a woman who loves me as much as she loves anything in this world, but a woman who once confessed her fear of black men who passed by her on the street....These people are a part of me. And they are a part of America, this country that I love.""

While I, like most people, denounce racism and other forms of ignorant hatred, is it really that surprising that people harbor such views? Racism and prejudice is everywhere. If I were to cut ties with every friend/family member/person who holds a racist belief, makes a prejudiced comment, and/or lives life with a biased mind, I would be a lonely person. And that's coming from liberal CA. And have I ignorantly passed mental judgments that I would be ashamed of if it were reduced to writing and spread across the papers? Yeah.

It's better to deal with these issues openly than to act as though 'oh, no one has these thoughts (at least not normal, educated ones!!), surely not myself'... and then lambaste a person when someone close to them decides to voice their thoughts openly.

Anyway. A speech I hope will make a difference. More likely a small one than a big one, unfortunately.

On a somewhat related note, it's funny how we like to root for the underdog and then gleefully bring down those at the top, even if they are the same person. Why some people derive so much pleasure from watching others fall from grace is not something I easily understand. Schadenfreude or whatever, right? Is it human nature or something developed culturally/socially? I would have to go for the latter.

That just came from the thought that I think it's a sad state of things when, out of the NY governor ordeal, Spitzer has been brought down while his prostitute is making millions. Did he do something wrong? Yes. Should he, in light of his other accomplishments, have had to resign? I don't know. Should she be profiting off of it now? No. But here we are. We just love it.

I'll get back to posting cute pictures now.

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Picture of the Post:

Resting at the Saturday Market in Mexico City

:|

i find that 'knowing yourself' is harder than it sounds.





.. oo i'm so emo! and angsty!